May 1, 2008

National Day of Custom Mattresses

U.S. President George Bush, Wisconsin Governor James Doyle, and many other politicians formally and officially remind us that today is the National Day of Prayer, when "all Americans regardless of faith are asked to come together and pray in their own way."

I assume that means regardless of which theological narrative your faith is bound up in as opposed to whether you rely on faith or not.

I suspect that a person of no faith praying in their own way might be accused of simply going through the motions, much like people do in church and thousands of politicians will be doing for television news cameras today. Coming out of the closet, as it were.

Professional Christians James and Shirley Dobson's National Day of Prayer™ Official Website does have its priorities* down, however. Did you know that: "The Furniture Row #78 CUP program, sporting the NDP paint scheme was on the track again at Talladega Motor Speedway on April 27, 2008, for the NASCAR Aaron's 499 Cup"?

And: "Four U.S.-based manufacturing operations, including two of the busiest mattress plants in the world, also supply Furniture Row stores with quality custom mattresses and furnishings at factory-direct prices. Please visit"

Again proving the impressive efficacy of intercession, driver Joe Nemechek prayed the NDP Chevy to 25th place in a field of 43, and a check for $88,200. Weird, because Tony Stewart's Toyota, which didn't even complete the 188 laps and ended up 38th, won $138,886.

Could be the Toyota was a Buddhist and transcending prize money.

If I was Joe Nemechek, I would have ceased with the prayers and let about 13 cars pass me on the final lap. Or maybe that would have been bad luck. Why isn't there a National Day of Triskadecaphobia?

* Here's what you have to sign to work for Dobson's outfit:
I believe that the Holy Bible is the inerrant Word of The Living God. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and the only One by which I can obtain salvation and have an ongoing relationship with God. I believe in the deity of our Lord Jesus Christ, his virgin birth, his sinless life, his miracles, the atoning work of his shed blood, his resurrection and ascension, his intercession and his coming return to power and glory. I believe that those who follow Jesus are family and there should be unity among all who claim his name. I agree that these statements are true in my life.
Not exactly the ecumenical jamboree this thing is supposed to be.


Anonymous said...

Again proving the impressive efficacy of intercession

That's....sublime. I hereby proclaim that PRspeak combined with GodSpeak is the new totalitarian kitsch.

grumps said...

Someday we'll have a chat about the intricacies of the NASCAR points system and the way payouts are determined.

It'll make property law look sane to you

capper said...

I thought it was a copy of the job application to work for ex-state leggie Tom Reynolds.

illusory tenant said...

Someday we'll have a chat about the intricacies of the NASCAR points system and the way payouts are determined.

I guess so. I'm more used to, when the puck goes in the net and the red light comes on, you got yourself a goal.