May 9, 2008

American TV welcomes Stephen Lynch!

"American Presents The Sick and Twisted Stephen Lynch," declares the full page color ad in yesterday's virulently pro-Catholic newspaper* The Onion, welcoming the "comedian" Lynch to Milwaukee's Riverside Theatre tomorrow night.

Search 'Stephen Lynch' at and find Lynch mocking the mentally and physically handicapped, homosexuals, and so forth, complete with foul and offensive language. He also sings about performing an abortion on his girlfriend by kicking her in the stomach and inserting a coat hanger into her vagina, among other things.

And, of course:


"How many Catholics do we have here tonight?" [Sparse applause] "That's way too fuckin' many." [Laughter]
sunday mass or bible class
i catch him in my view
so i close my eyes but there he lies
spread eagle on the pew
and when i see him in that frock
my conscience goes awry
i'll give him some communion wine
that's spiked with spanish fly

altar boy, altar boy
is it gonna be heaven or hell
you can play my organ all night long
if you promise never to tell
So, where's the fabricated outrage?

Anyone? Chuckles? McBueller?

*crickets chirping*
* This issue's top story:
Pope Returns To Vatican
With Comprehensive Plan
To Blow Up United States

Chillingly, the recording concludes with the phrase "May God bless America," followed by what is being called a "throaty, maniacal" laugh that experts have identified as the pontiff's.
(A near-perfect triple-decker headline, by the way.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This Stephen Lynch -- he doesn't ask us uncomfortable questions about our rightwing politics, does he?

No? Ah, well. One can't get outraged about everything, after all...