[This headline deleted for appropriate decorum]*

Who couldn't see this coming (raise both your hands please):

Footage captured at the Osthoff Resort in Elkhart Lake last year shows the Wood County district attorney masturbating** while viewing pornography in a public area, an employee fired for reporting the conduct said in an interview Friday.

Obviously it was not simply a video of a guy sitting motionless in front of a computer that the resort staff was watching "for fun."

Note to self: Don't ever sit in the chairs in the business center at the Osthoff. Used to be all we worried about under the tables was chewed gum.

— goodfellahenry

Public hygiene wasn't my first thought, but Henry raises a fair point.

* A considerably less decorous treatment is available here.
** Hamline alum, for those who take account of such things.***
*** Yes I'm looking at you, Recess Supervisor.