August 30, 2008

Gustav bears down on St. Paul, MN

Republican notables George W. Bush and the GOP's official demon exorcist Bobby Jindal are reportedly preparing to put their RNC performances on hold, as Hurricane Gustav heads north and gains strength across the bathwater-boiling expanse of the Gulf of Mexico.

The hurricane may also force the cancellation of the RNC's keynote musical address, featuring old timey country fiddler and post-9/11 First Amendment scholar Charlie Daniels, whose band is scheduled to run through its signature number, The Devil Went Down To Georgia, symbolically decked out in short-sleeved shirts purchased from Burlington Coat Factory's autumn "Back to Gulag" collection.

John McCain is to offer a medley of Beach Boys tunes while "moderate" law professor Ann Althouse is set to live-vlog her celebrated Carrie Underwood box-of-Shiraz solo drinking game.

Nobody has ever heard of any of the other musical acts appearing at the RNC, and it's unclear whether "Big and Rich" is one of them or the overarching theme for the event's supporters and beneficiaries.


capper said...

I was gone. Did they explain how the hurricane went from Louisiana to Minnesota via Alaska?

illusory tenant said...

That's right, you were away for a few days. Boy, are you in for a treat.

capper said...

You weren't kidding. I'm in overload, and now cannot decide what to go after first.