October 27, 2009

Newt the Magic RINO

GOP will eat itself.

What does that say for Newt's Scott Walker cheerleading, if the ideologically pure detect a taint in Mr. Newt's endorsements.

I caught a bit of this Doug Hoffman's act on Faux News last night. He sounded just like some guy addressing a convention of actuaries.

You know what an actuary is, right? An actuary is somebody who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.

5 comments:

David Ziemer said...

i thought an accountant was someone who couldn't do the complex math required to become an actuary.

illusory tenant said...

Now I'm trying to remember who told me that joke, an actuary or an accountant.

John Foust said...

Aw, one of my favorite lines.

The other is "What do lawyers use for contraception? Their personalities." :-)

illusory tenant said...

I heard that one, except it was computer techs.

John Foust said...

No, the best programmer joke goes like this:

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."