Mr. Johnson goes to [find] Washington [on a map]

'Or whatever the hell it is I'm running for.'

Item: Ron Johnson has also expressed an interest in a spot on the Appropriations Committee, "but not to spend money."

Other Senate committees the Oshkosh millionaire has expressed interest in include Rules and Administration, but not to administer the rules, Armed Services, but not to arm the services, Judiciary, because the third time in his life to read Article III is the charm, and Indian Affairs, because he's always wanted to visit the Taj Mahal.

Sources say RoJo's most likely assignment will be to the Committee on Agriculture, Nutrition and Forestry, where he will advocate for the beneficial nutritive effects of carbon dioxide on the nation's flora.

h/t The Chief.