Jesus, Satan, Huckabee & Hitler

Naturally, Mike Huckabee's faux-naïf concern about whether Mitt Romney believes Jesus and Satan are brothers is inspiring considerable chatter appropriate to the race for the presidency.

A Romney/Mormon apologist blog is offering that Jesus and Satan are brothers in the same sense Huckabee and Adolf Hitler are brothers, which is an interesting analogy.

It makes sense, however, since Huckabee's GOP rivals are deriding his socialist inclinations and, as has been demonstrated in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, Hitler was a liberal.

And, in the kerfuffle's wake, Huckabee's camp is now denying that the candidate has a theology degree, despite Huckabee's touting exactly that in a speech to the Center for Strategic and International Studies in September. Huckabee implied that his “theology degree” put him in a better position than his rivals to understand Jihadism.

Now his campaign is claiming Huckabee only has a BA in Biblical Studies, which doesn't count as a theology degree, and maybe doesn't put him in a better position to understand the strange doctrines of Mormonism.

A piece in the New York Times this morning refers to Huckabee's “ignorance” and offers an attempt at clarification courtesy of Robert Millet, a professor of religion at Brigham Young University:

Jesus was God’s first-born son, and everyone who came after that, including Satan could be considered the siblings of Jesus, he said.

“Latter-day Saints believe that all of us, Christ included, existed in a premortal existence, as spirits,” Mr. Millet said. “Yes, Jesus and Lucifer were in that premortal existence, together. But what we need to make very clear is that Jesus was God and there was never a time when Jesus and Lucifer were on the same plane.”

Er, what? Jesus was God's first-born son and Jesus was God?
But according to some literature at the official Mormon website,

Jesus Christ and Lucifer are indeed offspring of our Heavenly Father and, therefore, spirit brothers.

Jesus Christ was with the Father from the beginning. Lucifer, too, was an angel “who was in authority in the presence of God,” a “son of the morning.” Both Jesus and Lucifer were strong leaders with great knowledge and influence. But as the Firstborn of the Father, Jesus was Lucifer’s older brother.

The author then points out that it's not unusual for two brothers to choose career paths at variance with one another, in this case, the elder as the “savior of mankind,” the younger a mischievous demon, and concludes,

We can only imagine the sorrow of our Heavenly Father as he watched a loved son [Satan] incite and lead a rebellion and lose his opportunity for exaltation. But we can also imagine the Father’s love and rejoicing as he welcomed back the beloved son [Jesus] who had valiantly and perfectly fought the battles of life and brought about the great Atonement through his suffering and death.

That's some tricky business right there, to claim God was Jesus, when God sent Jesus away, and then welcomed Jesus back after he was dead. Excuse me while my brain explodes.

I'm thinking the operative words in that passage are, "we can only imagine." It's nice to see such candor for a change.

And who knows what BYU Prof. Millet means by Jesus and Satan never having been “on the same plane,” because I don't see any difference between “loved son” and “beloved son.” Before they went their separate ways, that is.

Maybe he means the plane Jesus flew to Missouri on to meet up with Joseph Smith. One thing's for sure, it ain't easy keeping all these fairy tales straight, least of all for Mike Huckabee, who's puzzled by Mormon doctrine yet draws inspiration from a talking snake.

However, there is some evidence, also in the Journal-Sentinel, that it's possible to both be related to a person and be that person:

Q: Joe of Milwaukee - How many cheesesteaks have you eaten in the course of your lifetime? Also are you related to Big Daddy Kane?

A: Eugene Kane - 2,645, give or take a hoagie or three. Also, of course we're related. I AM BIG DADDY KANE.

Another thing's for sure, the cheesesteak is a tool of Satan.