All props (pun intended) to Mike Mathias.
Local radio jackanapes Charlie Sykes* has reportedly also spent the last three days trying to get past the busy signal at 411-273-0880.
But for a good laugh, call:
Sykes's tragicomic protégé Scott Walker in thespian denial affair
— via the indispensable Xoffh/t Cody O.
* And it's LexisNexis, not "Lexus-Nexus." I heard Chas. Sykes was a magazine editor once upon a time, but he can barely edit a blog post.