Word of God unclear, say Lutherans

True Christians™ fight it out in Minneapolis:

"I believe for me to marry a woman would be wrong — even sinful," said Tim Mumm, a delegate to the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America national conference.

"Nowhere in Scripture does it say homosexuality and same-sex marriage is acceptable to God. Instead, it says it is immoral and perverted," observed another delegate.

Wait a minute. They can't both be True Christians™.

YHWH threatens conservatives with giant rotating column of air

"Jesus Christ," wrote John Piper, pastor at Minneapolis’ Bethlehem Baptist Church, "controls the wind, including all tornadoes."

Meanwhile:

An 11-year-old boy died when a tornado tore through a day camp, officials said Friday as residents across Ontario surveyed the damage a day after the violent storm wreaked destruction.

Thanks, Jesus.